If it means a lot to you
by RaynaAbarai
Summary: Song fic to ADTR If it means a lot to you.


You know you can't give me what I need.  
>And even though you mean so much to me,<br>I can't wait through everything,  
>Is this really happening?<br>I swear I'll never be happy again.  
>And don't you dare say we can just be friends.<br>I'm not some boy that you can sway.  
>We knew it'd happen eventually.<p>

"Fine you know what I can't take this anymore."

"Ichi you know that I have to go back."

"That's not what I'm fucking talking about Renji! It seems like they are keeping you longer each time you go back. This time it was two weeks. Whats next a fucking month?"

"Ichigo look I..."

"You what Renji? Two and a half years we've been together and I have been patient. But this, this is getting ridiculous!"

"Fuck what do you want me to do Ichigo huh? Quit my job, give up everything so you feel better?"

"Fuck you Renji"

"Shit Ichigo, I didn't mean it that way, I just don't know what to do!"

He moved to hug his boyfriend.

"Don't touch me! I can't, I can't do this anymore."

Ichigo was struggling with what he was about to say

"I think you need to go."

"Ichi I..."

"Leave, Renji, It's over we're done."

"Ichigo please don't do this."

Renji took a step closer to him as Ichigo stepped back. He shook is head

"I'm sorry. Its over"

"Fine if that's what you want I'll fucking go. I'll come back for my shit when your not here"

He walked out of their shared bedroom and to the front door. He pulled it open and wasn't surprised to see Rukia standing there.

"Hey Renji what's..."

She didn't get a chance to finish what she was saying before he walked past her with out a word. She turn to see him walk down the stairs way form their apartment. She knew that they got into arguments from time to time so she didn't think anything about the way he ignored her. She walked through the door the that he had left open and called out

"Ichigo, hey where are you?"

She heard what sounded like a sob coming from the bedroom. She rushed in to find Ichigo curled in a ball in the floor

"Ichigo are you okay, what happened?"

He was having a hard time breathing, let alone trying to talk. She sat on the floor next to him.

"Ichi, sweetie what happened?"

He sat up and looked at her

"He's gone Rukia, he's not coming back this time."

"Why would you say that? You guys just had a fight right? It will all blow over."

He shook his head

"Not this time. I, I broke up with him and told him to leave."

"You can't be serious."

"He said he's gonna come get his things when I'm not here."

He started to cry again.

"Can I ask what brought this on?"

"I guess it all started when he left this last time to go to the soul society."

_**Flashback...**_

"_Alright Ichi, I'll be back in a couple of days."_

"_Okay I'll see you then"_

_Ichigo kissed Renji goodbye and headed back inside their apartment. Even though Renji had just left, he couldn't wait til the red head to got home._

_And hey darling,  
>I hope you're good tonight.<br>And I know you don't feel right when I'm leaving.  
>Yeah, I want it but no, I don't need it.<br>Tell me something sweet to get me by,  
>'Cause I can't come back home till they're singing<em>

_La, la la la, la la la,  
>Till everyone is singing<em>

_If you can wait till I get home,  
>Then I swear to you that we can make this last.<br>(La la la)  
>If you can wait till I get home,<br>Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past.  
>Well it might be for the best.<em>

_It was about an hour before Renji was suppose to be home. Ichigo could hard wait to see the big dumb pineapple head, as he so fondly called him. He was getting ready to cook a nice dinner when his soul pager rang. He looked at the caller ID and smiled as he answered._

"_Hey Ren."_

"_Hi Ichi. Whatcha' doing?"_

"_Cooking dinner, what time will you be home?"_

"_Yeah, see about that. I have to stay here for five more days."_

"_What!, why?"_

"_I don't know. But orders are orders."_

"_I know, but that doesn't mean I have to like it."_

"_I know Ichi, I'm sorry. I'll see you when I get home okay?" _

"_Yeah, okay"  
>"Are you okay with this?"<em>

_Ichigo sighed_

"_What choice do I have Renji?"_

_Renji didn't know how to answer him._

"_Look I'll see you when you get back"_

"_Okay. I love you"_

"_I love you too."_

_Ichigo hung up the phone and sighed again. He finished cooking his dinner. After he ate and cleaned up, he went to his room to lay down. He knew that Renji had a job to do. But that still didn't make things any easier. And it seemed like he was away from home longer and longer every time he left._

_And hey sweetie,  
>Well I need you here tonight,<br>And I know that you don't wanna be leaving me  
>Yeah, you want it, but I can't help it.<br>I just feel complete when you're by my side,  
>But I know you can't come home till they're singing<em>

_La, la la la, la la la,  
>Till everyone is singing.<br>La, la la la, la la la._

_If you can wait till I get home,  
>Then I swear to you that we can make this last.<br>(La la la)  
>If you can wait till I get home,<br>Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past.  
>Well it might be for the best. <em>

_The next five days passed of fast, Ichigo hadn't even realized it was time for his boyfriend to come home already. He dialed Renji's number and waited for him to pick up_

"_Hello"_

"_Hey Renji"_

"_Hey Ichigo what's up"_

"_You're suppose to come home today. Do you know what time you'll be here?"_

_It was so quiet Ichigo thought maybe they had gotten disconnected._

"_Hello Renji!"_

_He sighed_

"_Yeah about that. The orders just came in, I have to be here another week."_

"_What!"_

"_Sorry Ichi."_

"_What the fuck Renji!"_

"_Look there is nothing that I can do."_

"_What ever Renji. I guess I'll talk to you later."_

_Ichigo hung up the phone and flopped down on to the bed. This was really getting annoying._

_The next week he hadn't gotten to talk to Renji much. They had text back and forth but that was the extent of it. So when Renji finally got home, Ichigo was ecstatic. He jumped on Renji_

"_I'm so glad your home. Do you have any idea how much I've missed your dumb ass?"_

_Renji chuckled_

"_About that"_

_Ichigo leaned up and kissed him._

"_We'll talk about it later, okay?"_

_Renji smiled and nodded._

_Ichigo had forgotten all about the talk they were suppose to have. He was just happy to have his Renji home. Only a week had passed when Renji received orders to return again._

"_Really Renji? You've been home seven fucking days!"_

"_I know Ichigo but orders..."_

"_Yeah, yeah, orders are fucking orders."_

_Renji ran his had through is hair_

"_Look it it should only be for a couple of days"_

_That's when the shit hit the fan._

_**End flashback...**_

Ichigo finished telling Rukia everything that happened before she got there. By the time he was done he was crying again.

"I really did it this time Rukia. I fucked up."

She hugged him

"Ichigo I'm sure that we can fix it."

"How?"

"You love him right?"

He nodded

"And I know he loves you. I'm sure things will work themselves out."

"I hope your right. I mean look at me. I'm a fucking wreck. A grown ass man acting like such a baby."

"Love can do that to people"

He managed to give her a sad smile and hugged her tighter

"Thank you Rukia."

_**Meanwhile...**_

When Renji left the apartment he didn't know where to go. So he did the first thing that came to his mind. He opened a gate, and headed back to the soul society. When he got there it was already a little late. So he headed to his quarters for the night. When he got inside he changed and laid down.

"What the fuck am I going to do now?"

Before he could stop them, the tears started to fall.

In the captains quarters...

Byakuya and Rangiku were cuddled on the couch in his quarters when they sensed Renji's return

"I thought he wasn't due back til tomorrow sometime."

Byakuya looked at her

"He's not, and he seems upset."

"Can we go check on him?"

"Do you think we should?"

She nodded

"I can't let a friend suffer."

"Come then. Lets make sure he is okay"

She smiled as they made their way out of the Captains quarters on their way to Renji's. As they got closer Byakuya hid his reitsu.

"Why'd you do that?"

"I don't want him to put on a front."

"Good Idea!"

She followed suit and hid hers as well. They made their way to the door and knock. No answer.

"Renji I know you're in there!"

"Go the hell away Rangiku!"

"Lieutenant Abarai, I would appreciate it if you would not speak to my girlfriend in such a manor."

The moment he heard his captains voice, he was up at the door. He wiped the tears away and pulled it open.

"My apologies Captain. What can I do for the two of you?"

"May we come in?"

"Of course."

He let them in and apologized

"Sorry I don't have much to offer. I'm not here most of the time."

"It's fine. We came by because we noticed you are back a day early."

"Well I..."

"Renji what happened?"

"It's nothing"

Rangiku glared at him

"Renji, don't you lie to us!"

"You won't leave til I talk will you."

"Nope"

"Fine this is what happened."

He explained how it all started with him being gone for so long. Then about the fight that caused the brake up.

"So that's what happened, now I don't know what to do."

"You can fix it."

"How?"

Byakuya looked at him

"Well, contrary to popular belief, I don't hate either of you. If I had known it was causing problems, I would have made arrangements so you could have gone back."

"But Captain."

"Look I'll go talk to the Head Captain, you just get yourself ready to go back."

Byakuya kissed Rangiku, stood and left for the first division. Rangiku smiled at Renji

"Things will work out, you'll see."

"I hope so Ran."

"They will"

She hugged him and left for home

After about an hour, a hell butterfly came with a message for him. He held his hand out to hear what the message was. He smiled. When the message finished he ran to the courtyard and open a gate back to the world of the living. He stepped out in front of their building. He ran up the stairs and unlocked the door to the apartment. He went in and headed strait to their bedroom. He smiled at what he saw when he got there. Ichigo was fast asleep on their bed. Rukia was sat next to him holding his hand. She looked up at her oldest friend

"You came back."

"Of course I did Idiot"

She gently pulled her hand out of Ichigo's so she didn't wake him. She walked over to the taller red head and gave him a hug

"Are you guys going to be okay?"

"Yeah, thanks to your brother. And hey, thank you for taking care of him."

"That's what friends are for stupid. Anyways, I'm going to head home. I'll lock up on my way out."

"Thanks midget."

She smiled as she left the room and let herself out. Renji walked over to where his boyfriend was asleep on the bed. He sat down and gently petted Ichigo's head

"Ichi, baby, wake up."

Ichigo instantly opened his eyes

"Ren, Renji you came back."

"Of course I did."

Ichigo sat up and threw himself into Renji's arms

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean what I said before. Please don't leave me."

"Hey clam down. I'm not going anywhere. As a matter of fact, I talked to Captain Kuchiki. He told m that if he had known it was causing problems, he would have helped."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, so here is the deal. I only have to go once a week for one day to train the squad. Everything else he said I can do from here. And if for any reason I have to be gone longer that three days, I have permission to bring you with me."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"He did all that for us?"

Renji nodded.

"And here I thought he hated us!"

Renji just laughed. Ichigo smiled

"Well then I guess I will have to go and personally thank the noble bastard."

Renji laughed again and leaned down to kiss Ichigo

"I love you Ichi."

"I love you too Renji"

_La, la la la, la la la,  
>Now everybody's singing.<br>La, la la la, la la la,  
>Now everybody's singing.<br>La, la la la, la la la,  
>(If you can wait till I get home)<br>Now everybody's singing.  
>La, la la la, la la la,<br>(Then I swear we can make this last)  
>Now everybody's singing.<em>

_La, la la la, la la la,  
>(If you can wait till I get home)<br>Now everybody's singing.  
>La, la la la, la la la,<br>(Then I swear we can make this last)  
>Now everybody's singing.<br>La _


End file.
